Tag: Therapy

Help! we all need somebody…

Help! we all need somebody…

Help, we all need somebody, not just anybody…..do these words sounds familiar?  If you were alive in the 1960’s and 1970’s you might easily remember songs by the Beatles. What an awesome group they were and to this day their music revolves around the world for so many to enjoy. If you haven’t heard of the Beatles, find some youTube videos and hear what you have been missing.

abbey-road-album-cover.jpg

Why, the Beatles? I don’t know except this song came into my mind and as I listened to the lyrics, I mean REALLY listened, I realized how  the words remind me how important it is for those of us living with mental illness to have our “Help” list. Whether we have it written down on a piece of paper or on our phone, or mentally remember it, it is so important to know who we can contact if we are going through rough times. If you haven’t listened to “Help” in a while, here are the lyrics and the youTube link is below:

(Help!) I need somebody
(Help!) Not just anybody
(Help!) You know I need someone
(Help!)

When I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self-assured
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round

Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?

 When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way

But now these days are gone, I’m not so self-assured
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down
And I do appreciate you being ’round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me?
Help me? Help me? Ooh

lyrics provided by www.genius.com

Don’t these words ring so very true to you? I know they do for me. How often have I needed help when I am feeling down? Goodness, I cannot even begin to count the times. And how about when my feeling of self-worth is so low that I cannot think straight? I recognize that older I get, the more help I may need; the more my bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder diagnoses started to manifest themselves, the more I needed help finding the way to get me through a dark time. And ohhhh how I appreciate all the assistance I have been given over the years.

Do I have a list written down for me at this moment in my life? No, I don’t but I know who to call. I know that family, my therapist and a few friends know how hard I have worked to get to where I am today. I know if I need to I can pickup the phone, or write and email.

I strongly urge all of us to keep a “Help” list at all times. Keeping the list as a note in our phone will help reminding us WHO we can call rather than scrolling through a big list of contacts. Having the list written down by our bed is also a good reminder that there are people to reach out to even in the lastest hours when we thing we are all alone.

And PLEASE keep the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number close at hand 1-800-273-8255. Remember, you do not necessarily need to feel suicidal to call this number. It can be a great number to call if you are feeling lost, alone, or in the dark of night. Trust me, I have used this number many times over the years and have received a lot of comfort. AND, if you ever have a friend that you want to share the number with, you have it handy.

suicide-prevention-lifeline

I hope you enjoy the video below. The Beatles are definitely a group that made such a huge impact on music.  Their overnight popularity was beyond reason. And little did I know that their music would reflect on life for me today…in this moment.

Share your list ideas your best way of keeping your “go-to” folks’ phone numbers readily available to you.

Take Care

Jenny

Fear Grabs Ahold!

Fear Grabs Ahold!

So today’s challenge is to write about my biggest fear. Interesting as I suppose many people have fears that make them stop and become almost immobile: mice (lol I saw one this morning!), spiders, heights, snakes, flying, public speaking,  crowded spaces, enclosed spaces. I could go on and on. It’s rather sad that people have fears that they don’t know how to deal with.

When I read what the blog question for today had to do with fear I immediately knew what I would write about.

My biggest fear is that I turn into the person that I was before. Well,  I have never been a horrid person, but my fear is that I go back to the days where my mental illnesses had taken control of my every breath. I fear that one day I will awaken and my life will have turned upside down in some way and my horrible depression, anxiety, self harm and uncertainty will take the place of how I am living today.  I fear that I will have to be hospitalized again, that I won’t be able to make sense of my life again. I must say it can be a rather crippling fear.

trees_road_fog_fence_morning_stakes_26384_1920x1080-450x253

But it doesn’t have to be.

I have been lucky enough to have found a therapist who I have been seeing for many years. He has been my rock when times were hard, he has been able to “bring me off the ledge” when I didn’t think I could. He has guided me through years of therapy and I can see the huge progress I have made in my mental health over these years. With my hard work and his teaching and encouragement, I continue to understand more and more about who I am and accept myself rather than bash myself. I will never forget what he said about fear (probably more than times than I remember!). “Fear can paralyze you or fear can motivate you.”  And yes, he is right. In the darkest days and weeks and months I could have totally given up. I was so scared of what my brain was doing to me  that I could have frozen in place..until the next dark episode. But I didn’t. I was motivated to get healthier and healthier. And I have succeeded.

So for this moment, my fear remains that my mental illness will grab on and have its way with me – take me back to those years of well, darkness and confusion. I will do my best to not let that happen. Every single day I work at positive mental health. Some days are easier than others.. I know how I DON’T want to feel. I know I believe that I will acknowledge my fear and continually work at ways to accept my feelings, but still be able to make positive steps in the right direction.

In the back of my mind I know that I may have dark or rough or challenging days, or weeks or months. But I have learned so much over the years that I also know I will make it through those times – easier than in the past.

Jenny

 

Oooohhh it’s dark!

Oooohhh it’s dark!

The clouds are just crazy-ass dark this evening!! I love it!! There are times in my life when I might look at the clouds and relate them to the darkness of life. But not tonight. They are beautiful and show impending weather that might be exciting. I love the weather…well maybe not the 100 degree heat, but all other weather and seasons. I am hopeful that tonight these dark clouds may bring some thunder or more.

The Sierra Club always publishes such beautiful calendars every year: