Tag: #over50

20 Things YOU May Not Know!!

Ok, I am on a roll, it’s Day 2!! This challenge question asks for 20 facts about me. I will try not to ramble (too much) and be interesting at the same time.

If you have read a little bit of my previous blogs you know I am a single woman, 51 years old and mom to 4 wonderful young adult children and 3 beautiful grandbabies. My role as a mother is one that I am most proud of.

I live with serious mental illness conditions (Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder). I do pat myself on the back with how far I have come in my management of Bipolar and my recovery journey of BPD (YES!!!! You CAN recover from BPD, it takes time but it’s possible. I don’t find that I fit in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual – DSM V criteria as strongly as I used to. Hooray!!!) Sometimes I think this blog may make its way to the niche of mental health, but I’m not sure.

I love my pets! I have a fat orange and white cat named Molly, a buff and white Cocker Spaniel named Toby and a Chocolate Lab mix named Cooper. They are awesome and are great therapy in my physical healing.

Speaking of physical healing I had a hip replacement 3 ½ weeks ago that was not successful (Check out my blog Hip Replacement Gone Wrong! for more details) I had a second surgery and now in the healing mode. Frustrated that I can’t do anything without my walker, but also, I am trying trying to be patient.

I love Winnie the Pooh!!! I mean I don’t have him plastered all over my house but he has a very special meaning to me. During my very rough mental health years, I remember a night when my youngest son, he was maybe 6 at the time, came into my room with his Pooh bear. He handed it to me and said, “Mama, I think you need him more than me right now.” So to this day, 10 years later I have that same Pooh sleeping with me. He has traveled to hospitals and also vacations with me. Unbeknownst to me, my oldest daughter made sure he was in my bag my for my first psychiatric hospitalization. I have never forgotten how much that meant to me. Yes, Winnie the Pooh is my buddy.

I have started countless craft projects over the years and never can find one that I stick to: quilting, scrapbooking, cardmaking, needlework on and on and on. I guess that’s why Michael’s Craft stores are so popular, I am not the only one!

My favorite season is fall. I am sure that’s a question later in the challenge of 30 questions, so I will leave it at that for now.

Chocolate or Vanilla? Hahaha I like vanilla ice cream soooooo much more than chocolate. But I like chocolate cake better than vanilla! Hmmm , funny!

I like to garden. You wouldn’t know it at all by looking at my yard of weeds, but I really do enjoy planting a few flowers here and there and some tomatoes in the summer. My physical limitations over the past few years has made it hard to keep up with gardening. I work for a non-profit organization that has a lovely garden center which I managed for 4 years. For now going and visiting all of the beauty in the nursery will have to suffice.

If I could be anywhere right at this very moment I would be on the Northern California coast. That is my “inner refuge” that I can picture when days are tougher than others. I can’t really visit very easily anymore, but it’s where I love and have spent many many days vacationing over my lifetime.

I love a good steak!! Sorry to my vegetarian and vegan readers!! If I think of a sumptuous meal, it is prime rib, baked potato, broccoli and garlic bread. Yum! Oh I forgot the glass of red wine!

I am ever so slightly addicted to the internet. Well maybe a bit more than ever so slightly! I love to learn, learn, learn and look at what’s going on or watch a vlog or scan my Facebook , Instagram, Twitter , and Pinterest pages. I guess that’s ok right now since I am kind of stuck unable to walk. But yes, I do spend a lot of time surfing.

Diet Coke with Lime is my life!!!! Lol my daughter just suggested that and yes I do love my ice cold can of DCWL!!! I used to drink like 4 or 5 a day but over the past year-ish I now only drink 1, sometimes 2. So that’s a bit healthier!

Without naming names, I am not too thrilled with the political landscape of our country right now. Enough said.

I went to college when I was 18 for a couple of years and never enjoyed it. I went back at 42 years old and completed an Associate’s Degree!! I am proud of that fact being a single mom of 4 and working and school was no easy task, but I did it!

I love jigsaw puzzles. I remember being a young girl and spending summer breaks working away on puzzles. I love them to this day. My daughter is soooooo good at them. I would go to sleep at night and wake up and she had almost finished what we started!! I think I am feeling well enough to work on one again.

I don’t think I snore!! I know, that’s a goofy one. But honestly, when you are single do you even know if you snore? I suppose it doesn’t really matter anyway.

Unfortunately, I am a part of the #MeToo movement. Without going into many details, I was sexually abused by a family member from ages 11-13. AS I have later learned about my Borderline Personality Diagnosis, there is a strong link to abuse as a child and the diagnosis. It’s sad, sometimes angering, but I am at a point in my life where I can be mindful about the past and not let it get to me. Most of the time. I think it is awesome that women (and men) who have been abused or harassed or assaulted can share their voice to the world.

I love beautiful things. I know that sounds silly because who doesn’t? I guess what it is for me, is I look at photographs or artwork or gardens and more, and the feeling of the beauty just soaks into my soul and makes me feel so good. Beautiful music does the same thing. It’s not just casual observance of these things, it’s how they physically, mentally and emotionally make me feel.

And last but not least, making this list was harder than I thought!! I hope you have enjoyed reading and I would love to know about your list. Send me a link to your blog!

Jenny

Don’t Hold Me To It!!

So it seems that many people who start blogs use a 30 day blog challenge to get them into the writing habit. I have looked at a bunch of these challenge lists and I don’t really like all of the questions. Hmmmm, Jenny, you could make your own list?! Grand idea, but I think I will stick with the one I have.

I will start this challenge telling you that there is high likelihood that I will end up on different topics or just not doing the complete challenge all together, but who knows, I may surprise myself!

Day one of this challenge says to introduce myself and use a current photo. So this is me. I am 51 years old and I think I mentioned in another blog that I recently decided to embrace my age (well, that may be an overstatement), and let my hair go gray. Funny how this picture may hair isn’t particularly gray. Hahaha, I think I need to find some new shampoo to brighten my silver. Any ideas? Anyway, I have 4 wonderful children, 2 girls, 2 boys (23, 20, 18 and 16). I have been truly blessed with 3 grandchildren and am able to see them quite often. Being a mother has been the one “job” in my life that I have loved more than anything. It is what defined me for so many years and for that I am so happy. Now being a grandmother, I have a whole new gift to love.

I am single and have been for over 12 years (wow, more years than I was married!). I have my ups and downs with being single as I suppose many of us do at this point in our lives. There are times when I so wish I could have a close romantic and personal relationship and other times where my life feels fine without having to seek out a relationship such as that. That’s where I am right now in my life and I am content.

My career life has run the gamut from owning a restaurant, working as a special needs aide, managing a garden center and now a grants manager for a non profit. I don’t think I have ever really truly found my “spot” in the work world. I suppose there is still time. For now I have a decent job in an organization that helps others so that is good.

For the physical/mental part of who I am there have been a lot of challenges. My body feels well beyond it’s 51 years which is rather depressing, but I am trying to heal from recent surgeries and become more physically fit. My mental life has been quite tumultuous. Years and years of dealing with a panic disorder and some depression which as I aged popped into over a decade of learning to live a diagnosis of Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. Multiple hospitalizations and years of therapy and psychiatric care and a lot of work within me has brought me to a place where I am healthier in my mental Self than I have been in years. I have the correct “cocktail” of meds and my self help skills and work in Dialectical Behavior Therapy have been my saving grace.

So there you have it – a little bit about me and Day One on the challenge. Share your blog with me, I would love to read others’ words who are on this challenge.

Jenny

Nature Blowing in my Heart

I couldn’t sleep last night – I mean at all!!! That’s not uncommon these days due to having a lot of issues with pain, but last night it was the wind, the amazing, beautiful, fierce wind. I would have much preferred this windstorm during the day, but I take them when I can get them.

I LOVE the wind! I live in a high desert region of the Western United States that is known for awesome weather, along with it the wind. I find it comforting, exciting, sometimes a bit nerve wracking, but always a piece of nature that I f endears my heart. Yes, most people think I am crazy. I don’t know if I have ever met another person who is so enchanted by the howling and tree-whipping excitement that a good windstorm brings.

I have felt this way since I was a little girl. I lived near a school and park area that was not very wind prone, but when it did happen, I would leash up my dog and we would go out and run….run….run. In the wind. I loved the feeling of force pushing me along as I ran and turning around with my arms open wide and feeling like one strong gust would knock me over. I would call my dog over and see how happy she was as well. Her ears flopping up and down and her gait turning into a pure run of doggy joy.

I felt free.

To this day those feelings make their way inside me when I can be outside to feel the force and fury. I smile and laugh and tell people how awesome it is that we live where we can feel the wind. Again, they look at me a little odd. When I can’t be out in it, I do whatever I can to experience it. If I lay in my bed at night and crack the window a little bit I can capture the whistling sounds as well as the almost thundering force of each new gust.

So that’s what kept me up last night, a good old fashioned wind storm. I must say I got a bit nervous when I thought I heard a tree crash down near the house, but all was well by daylight. And, my fence has yet again proved stronger than nature.

Do You like the wind? Why or why not? I would love to hear your weather adventures

Jenny

Ambient Weather WS-2902 10-in-1 Wi-Fi Professional Weather Station with Internet Monitoring, Compatible with Alexa

Wind chimes are beautiful (but remember your neighbor might not think so!!)

51 is Not Old!! (I don’t think so!)

So let’s see, is 51 considered old? I’m sure there are the teenagers and young 20’s who would say “YES! Anyone over 50 is getting up there!” Then there are those of us in our 50’s saying “God, I hope not! I’m not ready to be old.” And then the group in their 70’s and 80’s who agree that being in your 50’s a far cry from being old.

For me, it depends on the day and the circumstances. I decided to let my hair go gray this year and while I receive a lot of compliments, I look at mySelf and realize HOW gray I am and the feeling of age creeps into my mind. Also, I am a true believer that if your body feels good, your mind feels younger. Unfortunately for me, I have gone through 4-5 years with a body that HURTS…..a LOT!! It makes me feel old, old, and older, but I try to look at the fact that I am doing things to “unhurt” my body. 2 major hip surgeries in the past two weeks is supposed to help. I am waiting patiently to see if that is the case. Pain does terrible things to our mental health and recognizing what toll pain can take on your mind is good way to shake the cycle of pain vs. age. Understanding how our body, mind and soul function is very important as we look at how we are aging.

I became a grandma 2 ½ years ago to this amazing red-headed little boy who is so very precious to me. Follow that with my little blonde curly-haired sweet granddaughter and a brand new grandson just a couple of months ago. These amazing little children have stolen my heart. I first thought that being a grandma would make me feel older. But it did the exact opposite. When I spend time with them, hear their laughter and see their smiles, have them snuggle up in my lap or want to show me their latest toy or achievement – I feel so much love, so much joy, and I feel younger! It’s a beautiful thing being a grandparent. I never knew what an impact it would have on me.

So 51, is it old? I really don’t think so. There are times that I look back on my life and see so much that has happened and depending on the moment, I feel sad, but more often filled with melancholy. Rather than looking back I know that it is time for me to really set some goals or plans for the future. I hope once my body feels better, my mind will feel younger, more often. And while looking at the future is important, looking at the Right Now is just as important. Finding positives in each day and understand that the negatives are ok to have as well.

I would love to know what stage you are in life. Do you plan for the future and if so how do you go about organizing how to achieve your goals or dreams or desires?

Thanks for reading and have a lovely day

Jenny

A great read by Dr Andrew Weil and makes for good reference

An awesome gift – for you or someone else!

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