Yes, I do feel sorry for myself sometimes, but not last Sunday.
I am a football fan – NFL specifically. I have been since I was a little girl (wow, I am now 51!!) I remember spending so many Sundays with my mom, watching our favorite San Francisco 49ers, cheering them on and loving all of our cute players…oh, I mean talented players! My love for football has never changed. I spent many years with my now ex-husband watching games week after week and enjoying every win. NFL football has been a tradition in my life…
Until I fell into a slump.
I slumped after my divorce. I just couldn’t watch the game by myself. I felt sad and sorry for myself because I was allllll alone, nobody to enjoy the game with. I dated here and there which helped those autumn and winter Sundays, but otherwise I never really felt inspired to watch a game alone.
About a year and a half ago, I changed my thinking. I decided that football, yes FOOTBALL should be a part of my life that I enjoy, no matter who else is around. I began to watch again; Sundays, Monday nights and Thursday nights (unless I really didn’t care about the teams). And now I REALLY will get into the games! My kids laugh at how I cheer so loudly and scream at the terrible plays. And you know what? I find that I am happy to be myself and to just BE with the game.
Sunday was Superbowl LII (52 – I tell my kids they know how old I am turning by the number of Superbowls there have been!). Did I feel bad that I couldn’t be with my mom and brother, or my daughter and her family? Of course I did. But when 3:00pm rolled around and the first kickoff was made, I was hooked. What a GAME!!!!! I wasn’t really a fan of either team, but since the New England Patriots have won so many times, I was a Philadelphia Eagles fan for the day. And boy was I given a gift that so many fans also received. I cheered and booed and also watched all of the commercials. I sung along with Justin Timberlake and felt a bit of nostalgia when they superimposed Prince on the halftime show. All in all a Sunday afternoon and evening well spent and well enjoyed.
What can I take away from this experience? The fact that it’s important for me to realize that even though I am on my own a lot, it’s so very important to enjoy activities on my own that maybe I used to do with others. And with football, that’s how it is. Of course I enjoy watching with others, but it is perfectly ok, and even great, to enjoy in the moment something that makes me happy – both alone and with others. It’s a constant undertaking to keep my health monitored, mental and otherwise. I am proud of myself when I can make strides such as this…learning what is healthy for me.
I hope you can find your enjoyment…even if you typically spend time with others, enjoy for YOU what you may have thought that you lost.
Take Care
Jenny
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