Yo-yo, and it’s no game

Yo-yo, and it’s no game

Hello All!

I have been having trouble deciding on what to write today. It has been one of those weeks that I am up and down and the yo-yo is not a fun game. Have you ever tried to actually yo-yo? I just realized how easy it is for the yo-yo ball to go down and so much harder to bring it back up again. Interesting analogy about how our brains can work like that little game….easy to feel down and much harder to feel up. Anyway, I am having a tough time on a topic so I checked out a page that has ideas for blog prompts.  82 ideas that are quite interesting and adaptable to blogs.  I decided that writing about the 10 things I am grateful for this week would be a good idea. Sometimes writing those positives can help when a mood is a bit erratic or more on the downside.

So here we go – enjoy and I hope you can find your 10 grateful things for your week. Or if you are struggling, it’s ok if you can only find 1 or two…I’ve been there and its way too easy to be hard on ourselves if we are not feeling particularly grateful, so try to appreciate what comes to mind and maybe next week or next month your list will grow.

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1.For this week and what comes to mind first and foremost is I am grateful for my therapist. I saw him yesterday and the feeling of immediate peace, confidentiality and comfort when I sit down in his office is sooo mind-settling. I have been seeing my therapist for about 8 years (hmm maybe longer, I don’t want to think about that right now). I have Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder and there were years when I was getting such intensive therapy and psychiatric help that I was seeing him twice a week and the doctor every other week. Someday I will write more about my time in therapy, but for today I will say that I am so grateful that I had an appointment with him  on Friday (it’s been about 5 weeks since we last met) and for having that place that I can share anything and everything that I want and need to.

2. So this morning I have been working on my budget. Recently my child support was cut in half because my 3rd child turned 18. I am figuring out how my youngest son and I will manage with the change in my bank account. I am trying to remain positive and for today I am grateful that I can sit here in my own home, food on the table, bills paid and even a nice front yard to spend time in. I know I will make the best path for my financial future that I can. It’s just finding that path that can be challenging at times.

3. I am forever grateful for my mom. We do not live close to each other, but we talk on the phone all the time and I just love our conversations and laughter. She has been so very supportive of me for my whole life, through thick and thin. I am 12,305% grateful for my relationship with her. I can’t imagine not having my mom in my life.

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4.I am grateful for how flexible my supervisor has been with me during my time of physical healing. She is allowing me to telecommute as well as come into the office when I can. I know in this area that I live there are not many places that would be this accommodating.

5. My 18-year-old son just came in my room to talk. We have had a bit of a yo-yo relationship over the years, but I am so thankful that we still laugh and talk and enjoy a bit of time together. He is moving out of the house in less than two weeks. While I know it is time for him to move (for both of our sakes), I’ll still miss him. Gratefully we will be in the same town so it won’t be toooo hard for me to see him go.

6. This is going to sound ridiculous, but I am grateful for my tv and Dish network. I am a more introverted person and single to boot. It’s nice that I can come home and watch shows that keep me informed (Meet the Press), shows that make me laugh (Ellen), shows that are pure entertainment (Greys Anatomy) and local news to find out the weather!!!!  Silly, but I am grateful!!

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7.I am grateful for my fairly stable mind and mental health. Even when I am having days or weeks such as these, I have learned how to monitor myself and not let that yo-yo hit the ground. My mental illness is still part of who I am. Each and every day it is in my mind, but definitely a bit further back than it used to be. I don’t fear every day that I will have a relapse in my health. So that is very good thing.

8.I don’t want to sound cliché, but I truly am grateful for all of my children, each and every day, each and every week. I mentioned my oldest son; My daughters are 24 and 20, my youngest son is 16. They make me smile, of course they can also make me cry. But without a doubt I am so blessed to have 4 such wonderful kids. They are becoming adults and our relationships are changing as they age into something new and wonderful.

9. Hmmmmm making a list like this can be challenging!!! Should I be grateful for this blog? Well of course!! It continues on and I am enjoying sharing parts of who I am with you and it is a healing experience as well.

Well, look here, I only came up with 9. And you know what? That is ok. I will be ok that this is my list for today, for this moment. I am trying to force myself to find #10 and with that comes frustration and a feeling of being angry at myself. Angry because I “should” easily have a list of ten, but I don’t. So rather than heading down that path, I will pull that string up and be ok. Be satisfied with my list and carry on with my day.  I hope you can be satisfied with your list as well.

Take Care

Jenny

unsplash-logoGlenn Carstens-Peters

2 thoughts on “Yo-yo, and it’s no game

    1. I hope you can keep practicing your “yo-yo” skills and with time you will be able to manage your illness better than it managing you. Take care and thanks for the comment 🙂

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