I am again taking a bit of a change from the 30 day challenge, especially since it is New Year’s eve. This time of year always seems to be about organization and goal planning and getting rid of the old and bringing in the new. I remember as a teenager making lists on my goals for the upcoming year only to realize that I never stuck to them. So I stopped doing that. I realized that the way my brain and life work are not as structured as sticking to lists. I would rather have general ideas for goals and not let myself down if I don’t achieve them.
On this New Year’s Eve I am thinking about the future and how things may evolve over time. Since I am laid up and not able to do much of anything physical, my mind has time to mull things over. That can be a positive, but also has it’s negatives. So here are some of my thoughts as I ponder life in the next year:
- I am happy with where my mental health is at. I don’t always have good days (who doesn’t have a bad day at times!), but overall I am at a place that I am managing my mental illnesses (Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder) very successfully. I even consider the fact that I don’t fall into the criteria for BPD like I used to. I take a combination of medications that works right for me and I use the tools I have learned over the years to manage my stress better, my self-injury urges and overall daily living. HOORAY!!!!!
- My physical health is still uncertain. My hip replacement gone wrong is starting to heal after the second surgery. I would love to say my goal is to hike and bike and walk and walk some more, but honestly I am not convinced yet. My physical therapist is being positive but even she is unsure how my healing will go because I had such an unusual situation. So, for now I will continue my exercises, push myself a little more when I feel up to it and hope that the coming year gives me healing and comfort from this pain.
- I would like to make some kind of goals for my future. Hahaha, I know I just said I didn’t make goals, but I don’t know, I am trying to figure out SOMETHING! I am 51 years old and don’t really have a direction in life. I have a decent job. My youngest child is almost 17 so he won’t me home for many more years, I love being a grandma but I also know my kids have their own lives and I am not part of that on a daily basis. I am single which may play a bigger role than I realize in my feeling a bit lost in my future mind. I don’t know, I guess I don’t know what I am supposed to Do or Be at this juncture in life and moving forward. Do you have a way to goal set for a 50+ single woman? Would love your comments and ideas.
- Writing this blog is making me happy. I know I have only been writing for a few weeks, but I really do enjoy it. I am hoping as I move forward with it I can write about mental health and offer ideas and thoughts and insight into my own struggles and achievements with mental illness. I know it helps reading or hearing about someone who has “lived it.” I would like to give back because others have helped me so much over the years.
Other than what I have mentioned I don’t have any big goals or dreams for the year. Yes, a clean closet and a garage sale and general organization in the house would be great, but I am not holding myself accountable if that doesn’t get done.
Tell me about your plans for 2018, or your non-plans!!! To all of my readers I wish you a happy and healthy 2018. I know there will be tough times during the year, but I encourage you to seek out people who you enjoy, silence and Peace that is essential and to be gentle with yourself.